Return of my life

It's been so long... The longest ever that I left my blog untouched.
I am now in the taxi which I have on called.
Normally it will be him who sent me. But after a few times I realised.
I have to learn to be independent and self-reliance.
I had a truly life learning talk with two of my friends last night, that's the reason I felt like blogging it as a Constance reminder for myself.

I have spent too long and too many years of my life searching for love.. Searching for the one who's going to take care of me.
But only till last night did I realised that I have wasted so much of my precious time for all these that's not going to work out solely basing on my own effort.

I am going thru a rough patch lately..
Which I find it has been the lowest point of my life.
Looking back.... I have been dealing with all these problem all by myself which I did not realised at all.

Life is about love.
And this love that I come to understand is not Only about romance.
It's not easy....
In fact it's kinda tormenting to learn to find myself back And live a life of my desire.

The sky now is exactly what I am feeling...
I wonder if the sky is feeling for me.
It's full of dark cloud.. It feels like rAinig and having a down pour..
Yet It has to hold it back ....

I am breathing hard.... It's kinda having difficulties in breathing normally but still I shall be glad that I am still breathing.

I have been living a life under his shadow.
Thinking that by giving and showering my love would yearn the return of a blissful marriage and a loving husband.
No! I am totally wrong!
I don't see the me that's been cover by his shadow that doesn't even bother.

I am done with living with all these lies... And down pouring all alcohol.

I am taking back my life.....
As .. At the end of the day... It's just a paper Anyway if no one is going to work it out together.

I will keep this faith....
And let no one decide the path of my destiny.